Australian adventure – part 13 – Torquay to Melbourne | Morpheus of London

Saturday 1 March we drove away from Torquay towards Geelong where we wandered the promenade and enjoyed the vibe of this popular seaside town.

En route we treated the car to a “no touch” laser car wash in the knowledge that our off road dusty driving times were behind us (hopefully LOL). Leaving Geelong behind we headed towards Melbourne. Because of the unnecessarily complicated way the hire car had set up the pricing this time we avoided the toll roads so it took a bit longer than anticipated. Finally we arrived in the City and picked up the keys to our apartment from the managing agent (whose office was nearby), found the secure underground car park, unburdened the car into the apartment and then drove towards Melbourne Airport. In the meantime we’d found out that the off-site car rental office was closed for the day – despite our contractual requirement to return it by 5pm. So we phoned to get confirmation as to what we should do and couldn’t get any sense out of anybody at the call centre so made our way there anyway..….

Nearing the office we filled up with petrol and arrived – Ace and Hertz offices were side by side in a desolated industrial area and both were indeed closed for the day. There was a sign posted on the door to say drop your keys in the secure drop box after hours….but not wanting to drop them in without any means of returning to our apartment (and the potential of getting stranded) we decided to book an Uber to return us to the city. We weren’t the only people who were there trying to return cars either – complete confusion reigned LOL. So when the Uber arrived and confirmed it was for us, feeling somewhat relieved, we posted the keys and enjoyed the ride back to our apartment.

Our apartment had been very reasonably priced and we were surprised especially as it was in Docklands with river views from the balcony. When we got there we found out why – the whole area is being renovated and we were surrounded by cranes and building works. Not the best view from the ‘office’ window…. But, as it was the weekend, who cares, nobody was working! Anyway, overall, we were pretty happy. We popped out to go shopping for some provisions and enjoyed a dinner at home and a quiet night in. Here we are checking out the balcony.

Sunday morning we had a slow start and after a leisurely breakfast we decided to ride the (free) historical circle tram to help us work out the city layout. We were supposed to be able to get a network map on the tram but the driver had sadly run out of them….

The views from the tram were not great – and it was very busy – so we got off near to the Museum of Melbourne where we enjoyed the very varied exhibits. On the way we popped into a large hotel for a comfort break and reception staff (assuming we were guests) asked if we needed assistance. So I cheekily asked for a tram network map – and hurrah, all sorted!

The strangest exhibit was of a famous Australian racehorse – Phar Lap – who had won 37 races from 51 starts (including the 1930 Melbourne Cup). His final race in 1942 was videoed and watching this footage in the museum alongside his taxidermy body was quite surreal. Allegedly he was so good that he was poisoned (with arsenic) in the USA after his last race by competitor racehorse owners (alleged to have Mafia connections).

After the museum we returned to the trams having now worked out the system. The trams (within the City boundaries) are totally free so we enjoyed hopping on and hopping off. How amazing! We got off at Riverside and wandered to Federation Square where there was some sort of festival going on – we watched a bit of the break dancing competition – before bailing out as the music was somewhat monotonous and the standard of competition was not (in our inexperienced eyes) very good. At least no one recreated the Australian kangaroo dance from the Paris Olympics LOL.

We then headed towards the river, wandered the waterfront checking out the boats and art installations before deciding to go aboard the Afloat Bar and had a couple of drinks before returning to our apartment on the tram for another quiet night in.

Melbourne was actually pretty quiet on Sunday…although it also had the most eclectic mix of people that we had seen so far on our travels. Most memorable was the elderly short skinny bald man dressed in a mini pink dress with lots and lots of pearls and stilettos. No wig, no make up, just happy in his (her??) own skin…. All very odd. We also came across many strangely clothed locals and tourists alike. Most of the tourists were Chinese / Japanese and Korean – who annoyingly photo everything numerous times and are a little inconsiderate in terms of letting us in to get our photos…. I’m surprised they find time to explore as they are recording everything on their phones as they stroll around before checking the footage and repeating as they see fit!

Monday we took a tram to check out some old malls – Block Arcade and Royal Arcade. They were very familiar and reminded us a bit of Leadenhall Market in London.

Then we continued walking to China Town. We realised that the most popular eatery had a queue up the street before it had even opened at noon. So we continued exploring before finally popping into this establishment for a snack as it had now opened and the queue had been accommodated inside – which was actually like a tardis, surprisingly large. The servers didn’t really speak English and the ordering was not completely straightforward. But we had some lettuce wraps (with pork) and some vegetable spring rolls. The food was very good and tasty.

Afterwards we continued exploring – next stop AC/DC Lane – which is full of street art. This might have been something to see originally but, sadly, people had been tagging over the original paintings so it has became a bit messy and not particularly interesting. What a shame….

We then continued and ended up in the Love Museum – where some of the installations were a little risqué – before visiting the Art Gallery which had a lot of early Australian History depicted. Find it very interesting to see the European artists’ impression of life in Australia with the women wearing their traditional Western clothes from the period – bet a full length dress with bustle was very comfortable in the heat and ultimately practical for working the land!

Melbourne was actually started by free settlers – although there had been a convict settlement at Sorrento in Victoria for a short period – and, in fact, most of the early European settlers of the Melbourne area were ex-convicts who had been released after they had served their time but with no repatriations they had to start lives for themselves in the new territory.

Moving on we headed across the river to the Sky Deck which we had purchased tickets for online. We started off in the VR Theatre which took you around and across Melbourne visiting iconic things such as the Formula 1 race, the Open tennis, up and down the river, in a helicopter and riding pillion on a motorcycle. Best bit for me was the rollercoaster ride and the fairy penguin parade as they came ashore for the night in nearby Philip Island. All seats were individual with headsets and with surround sound and with the seats moving it felt like a pretty authentic experience. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Then we headed up to the Sky Deck and enjoyed views across the City.

Then we went to the Edge which is a glass box which comes out of the side of the building horizontally on the 88th floor – so we had a bit of fun there mucking around for the photos! If you think I was a bit harsh on Richard then note I was just getting revenge for New Zealand….

We actually thought this may have been simulated too until afterwards when we went into the cage which looks over the side of the building and we could see people inside the Edge through the glass walls…. We had an American backpacker in the Edge with us and she was pretty frightened to start with – especially when the lift started making terrible noises – and the opaque glass went clear. Sadly phones were not allowed in the Edge so no photos of our own…

Then we went to the Sky Deck bar as we had money off vouchers and we thought it would be nice to sit up there and have a drink looking over the city. But it was really no more than a cafe and despite the amazing views it wasn’t a particularly comfortable environment.

Leaving the Sky Deck via the shop (of course) we walked across the river to the oldest pub in Melbourne (the Mitre Tavern) and sat in the courtyard with a cold glass in hand. Was very popular with the yuppie crowd as they came out of work…. Was also pretty loud.

Moving on we headed back towards Docklands on the tram stopping off for some supermarket shopping on the way. We popped into the local pub Tap 831 on the way home too…was surprisingly good. Back home we got on with the laundry, had dinner, and another early night.

Tuesday morning we were up very early and found we had an ant infestation coming in from outside throughout the apartment. Yuck! Anyway, no time to deal with it other than giving it a good spray around as we were going out for the morning. We had a 30 minute uphill walk to the pick up location for our Puffing Billy tour. The tram timetable was too late to wait for it (just in case) so we walked and got there around 7.30 am. At 7.40 am on the dot a Go West minibus turned up to pick us up. We had wanted to ride the Puffing Billy steam train but, unless you can book six months in advance, there is very little chance of getting tickets for it. Clearly the tour companies are allocated so many seats on each departure which reduces the ability to book independently. Anyway, we settled into the minibus, said hello to our fellow travellers (Asian of course) and then we were driven to Belgrave. We had a quick snack in the station cafe before boarding the train – all the same tour were allocated seats in the same carriage. There is a ‘right’ side and a ‘wrong’ side on the carriage in terms of photo opportunities – people sit on the rail and hang out…neither of us fancied that as it looked incredibly uncomfortable. So happy to sit on the ‘wrong’ side of the train and walk across to the door on the opposite side to take photos..

We stopped at Menzies Creek for a refuel before continuing on to Lakeside which was the end of the road for us. The train did continue further but, to be fair, old wooden benches on a rickety old steam train are not the most comfortable of rides, so we were happy to be leaving the train behind at this juncture. But had to get our photos done first of course LOL.

We had a drink before rejoining our minibus (which had driven the route to collect us) and we had a snooze on the way back to the city. Back in our apartment we complained to the management company on line about the ants and the air conditioning (which was not cooling, just recycling the air around). A young Japanese woman came quite soon and inspected the problem – air con was fixed immediately – was on the wrong setting – but without a manual how were we supposed to know??!!?? She also inspected the ants and, allegedly, she was going to deal later when we were out for the evening.

We went out as planned to Tap 831 and had some dinner there. Food was pretty good although they messed Richard’s order up – serving him grilled fish with vegetables rather than fish and chips LOL. Healthier option though…. Anyway, what we didn’t know, was that this was quiz night and we were lucky to get a table – there were some big (established) teams of friends and work colleagues in situ. We spotted one team who were cheating by looking up things on their phones but we played fair. Our general knowledge / geography and music was pretty good. But sports – Oz centric – was rubbish and, as a result, we came joint last. But as we were the only tourists and the only team of two we weren’t too disappointed. The funniest question of the night was “Where are Lanzarote (pronounced Lan-za-roti) and Tenerife (pronounced Ten-e-rif-e) located?” We told him how to pronounce them and it was pretty obvious we knew the answer LOL.

After a fun night we returned to our apartment and still had ants (reduced numbers though) and the air conditioning was still working. Fine and so to bed….making sure nothing was left on the floor to get infested….

Wednesday morning was our last day in Melbourne so we had a late start and breakfast before we headed on the tram outside of the free zone – meaning we had to purchase Myki tickets (which was easy at the tram station machine) and top them up to tap on and off for our journey. We got off at the Shrine of Rememberance and walked to the War Memorial, visiting first the information centre, followed by the crypt, and then up to the balcony. It was all very moving and beautifully done.

Afterwards – despite the high temperatures in the low 30s – we walked to the Botanic Gardens and enjoyed walking around. Especially seeing so many fruit bats nesting in the area – flying foxes are one of our favourites as their little faces look like cute dogs LOL. Then we headed to the Lake and sat on the terrace chatting to all the birds around. We also enjoyed watching the punts go out on the lake.

Afterwards we walked back to the main entrance, rejoined a tram and returned to the South Bank. We checked out a few bars on the South Bank but it was completely rammed with people coming out for an after-work drink and we couldn’t take the queues. So we crossed over the river and got a tram back to Docklands and returned to Tap 831, our new ‘local’ LOL.